By STEVE GILLILAND
Exploring Kansas Outdoors
I assume all you readers are familiar with the mythical and legendary Jackalope, a jackrabbit with horns like an antelope. While jackelopes have not made their way to Kansas yet, everything else seems to have. That fact, along with things I’ve seen in the last three-and-one-half years that I thought I would never see in my lifetime, make me believe its only a matter of time before jackalopes also call Kansas home. I found a copy of Wyoming regulations for hunting jackalopes, so, using that as a template, here will be the Kansas regulations for harvesting a jackelope in the state of Kansas; after all, we might as well prepare ourselves for the coming jackalope onslaught. (I’ve made a few revisions to make it applicable to our state.)
*License Requirements:
- A valid Kansas hunting license
A certification of sanity (or a willingness to surrender it)
- A bottle of hot sauce and maybe a flask or two of Grandma Waltons recipe (for courage)
*Season Dates:
- September 1st to November 30th, or until all hunters have fled in terror (the season can be lengthened if the jackalope population explodes.)
*Bag Limit:
- One Jackalope per hunter, or as many as you can outrun (this will also increase with time.)
*Hunting Hours:
- Dawn to dusk, or whenever you get the chance to shoot one (this rule is obviously pretty flexible.)
*Permitted Weapons:
- Rifles, shotguns, or a really strong pair of running shoes
- No using glitter bombs or rainbow-colored lassos (they just make the Jackalope more elusive)
*Jackalope Identification:
- If it has antlers, whiskers, and a mischievous grin, it's a Jackalope!
- If it's just a rabbit in a onesie with a pair of horns tied to its head, and ridden by a leprechaun, you're the victim of a prank
*Harvesting:
- Once you've caught your Jackalope, perform the traditional "Jackalope Dance" to honor your prey
- Then, and only then, can you claim your prize (a pat on the back and a great story) Plus, I hear fried jackalope tastes just like chicken.
*Penalties:
- Failure to comply with regulations will result in a mandatory viewing of "The Jackalope Whisperer" documentary
- Repeated offenses will require a hunter to wear a "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt on their next hunt
Remember, hunting Jackalope is a Wyoming tradition and may soon become popular here in Kansas too! Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!
Steve can be contacted by email at [email protected].