By STEVE GILLILAND
Explore Kansas Outdoors
Well, yet another birthday has come and gone.
It seems that since I’ve turned 70, my “check engine light” has come on and refuses to go out. It flickers on and off occasionally, but never goes completely off.
Don’t get me wrong, at 74, I’m blessed more than many, and I praise God for that, but it seems like I daily feel like the proverbial “old fisherman,” and I’ve devised a questionnaire so you can see if you too fit into that category.
So take the test:
You’re probably an old fisherman if you still smell like Ben Gay even after you’ve cleaned your fish.
If you waste countless hours of prime fishing time reeling and casting, reeling and casting, because you can’t remember whether or not you just re-baited your hook, you’re probably an old fisherman.
If, after reaching quickly under the boat seat for the dip net, you’ve found yourself holding your cane instead, you’re probably an old fisherman.
If you have ever started to hold the line between your teeth only to discover you’ve left your teeth at home at home, you’re probably an old fisherman.
If removing that occasional fishbone from your teeth can now be accomplished by removing your teeth and tapping them on the table, you just might be an old fisherman.
If your shore lunch now includes a tall, cool thermos of Metamucil and a box of prunes, you’re probably an old fisherman.
If your fishing buddies are now more than happy to take you along to their secret “honey holes” because they are confident you’ll never remember where you were anyway, you’re probably an old fisherman.
You’re probably an old fisherman if your wife now begs to go fishing with you because she’s afraid you’ll forget your way back home (you should feel lucky she wants you back home).
You’re probably an old fisherman if your favorite fishing chair is now one of those fancy walkers with a seat on it, and you are relegated to fishing from the boat dock because that’s the only place level enough to park it, or if you recently removed a seat from your boat to make room for your walker.
You just might be an old fisherman, if to you, the letters GPS mean Gotta’ Pee Soon.
It’s easy for anyone to drive off with their coffee cup sitting on the roof or the bumper of the pickup, but if you have gotten to the lake and turned around to back your boat down the boat ramp only to discover the boat was still parked in the driveway at home, you’re an old fisherman.
And finally, I’m sure you’re an old fisherman if your eyesight has gotten so dim that you now haul home all the carp you catch because you mistake them for trophy bass.
Continue to Explore Kansas Outdoors!
Steve can be contacted by email at [email protected].