By JAMES BELL
Hays Post
April is sexual violence awareness month and as reports of domestic and sexual violence continue to rise, Options Domestic and Sexual Violence Services Executive Director Jennifer Hecker said awareness is an important part of prevention.
And so, through the month, the organization will host events to help bring awareness to the community, including an ongoing exhibit this week in the Fort Hays State University’s Taylor Gallery, located within the Center for Applied Technology.
The What Were You Wearing exhibit is open 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. through Friday.
“Jana’s Campaign is partnering with us to bring this exhibit back again, this is the exhibit that the Wonder Women have been a longtime sponsor for, What Were You Wearing, is really intended to bring awareness to the myth that somehow what someone was wearing contributed to their sexual assault,” Hecker said. “And I think that is the worst kind of victim blaming that we can do to someone who has been raped. The idea, the suggestion is that if somehow that victim had simply chosen a different outfit to wear that day, they would not have been raped.”
She said while that idea remains common, it is wrong.
“We know that's absolutely not true,” Hecker said. “And you will see from the outfits how untrue that myth is. And yet it continues to be very pervasive in our conversations with people when they talk about their sexual assault.”
And another event on the FHSU campus planned for Wednesday will expand on victim blaming and how someone can help.
“We are going to be joining the Center For Empowering Victims of Gender Based Violence, who are hosting an expo in the Black and Gold Room at Fort Hays State University from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.,” Hecker said. “They will be spending a lot of time taking an in-depth look at victim blaming, and how a person could become an advocate and advocate for their friend or a loved one who may be experiencing that type of victim blaming.”
While the topic of domestic and sexual violence can be difficult, events such as the annual Walk a Mile in Her Shoes, set from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. April 12 on the FHSU quad, can help open dialogue through fun activities.
"We've all heard the saying you can't understand someone else's experience until you've walked a mile in their shoes,” Hecker said. “A lot of those sororities and fraternities, in particular, are going to be putting on high heels and walking a mile in high heels in solidarity with victims, but also to open up an opportunity to talk about and listen to the experiences of others so that we know how we can support people in our community and how to bring more prevention to the community as well.”
But she said, “It’s pretty funny watching, watching some pretty tall dudes try and walk in some very skinny high heels.”
Another Walk a Mile in Her Shoes event is scheduled from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. April 27 in the Union of the Colby Community College.
Rounding out events on the FHSU campus on April 14, Options will partner with Us 4 U to display their Red Flag Garden.
“It's really to showcase some of the red flags, behaviors that exist in relationships that can signal the potential for future violence or future abuse,” Hecker said. “So each red flag that is planted and there will be a sea of red flags, each one will be planted with a different type of abusive behavior. That could be a red flag or a warning sign for abusive relationships.”
Knowing those warning signs, she said, can be important as violence often escalates with time.
“Abuse doesn't get better, abuse gets worse,” Hecker said. “And so really looking at those red signs, those red flags can help us, and sometimes that helps people that were close to that might see that relationship in a different way, and can open up an avenue of safe conversation.”
Outside of the FHSU campus-based events, another What Were You Wearing event is scheduled at Colby Community College from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. April 13.
And at Big Creek Crossing, the installation will be displayed April 17 to 21.
“This one will be a little bit different,” Hecker said. “It's going to be open all during the hours that the mall is open, so from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. In the north end of the hallway, but we will not have staff at this event the whole time like we do at Fort Hays.”
While a staff member will not be available, she said the stores surrounding the display have contact information for advocates.
Capping off the month, Hecker said a years-long project will be launched at the Spring Art Walk on April 29.
Broken Brides will be available to view from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Farmers Insurance – Chelsy Proehl-Kofoid Agency, 1012 Main
“That is a symbolic bridal shower you never want to have to throw for anyone,” Hecker said. “They are products that we imagine that a victim might need in order to survive a relationship where domestic violence is happening. And symbolic items that are everyday items that are used sometimes to weaponize violence against victims.”
The Wonder Women League will sponsor the event.
“It is provocative, it is thought-provoking, it's in your face,” Hecker said. “And it is very real. All of the stories are the real-life stories and experiences that victims have shared with us. So you'll see things in the display like 'jealous rage bandages' 'don't talk back arm slings' and things like that.”
For a full calendar of events, visit the options website, help4abuse.org.