By CRISTINA JANNEY and JAMES BELL
Hays Post
Esther Courtney has been a member of the Center for Life Experience grief support groups since her brother died of suicide in the 1970s.
She found solace in the center's groups again when her husband of 35 years died in 2006. However, this year, she is unable to be with those friends forged through grief because of COVID-19.
"I seemed kind of isolated and distant from the other members," she said.
The Center for Life Experience is offering a chance for local residents to remember loved ones who have died with two memory trees at Jackie Creamer's Dance Studio, 1004 Main.
Healing After Loss and Healing After Loss of Suicide has dedicated one tree for remembering adults and those lost to suicide.
A second tree is sponsored by Healing Hearts for families who wish to remember children who have died.
For Courtney, that tangible symbol of her brother, Charlie, and husband, Ray, is meaningful.
"In a funny way, this tree, I find very comforting," she said. "In a funny way, it gives me hope. The reason being is that it is a visual. It's something concrete. It is something we can see.
"I think it is because it brings everybody together."
Courtney treasures a quote from an Arizona psychiatrist when she thinks about her brother.
" 'Suicide is about despair, and the only cure for despair is to regain hope.' To me that is what that memory tree is. That memory tree, for some reason, I just think it is hope."
Ann Leiker, Center for Life Improvement executive director, discussed the need to have outlets for grief, especially in this time of COVID-19.
"People are isolated either because they have COVID or they are exposed and they have to stay home," Leiker said. "So they can't gather the way they used to with friends, with family to remember their loved ones and celebrate them at this Christmas time and share stories of their loved ones."
Those who have lost loved ones to COVID are also especially impacted at this time of year, Leiker said.
"When we are under control with the COVID, there will still be a lot of grieving going on," she said.
The Center for Life Experience has for years sponsored a memorial tree for children in cooperation with its Healing Hearts group. This year, the tree has about 200 ornaments.
This year, the Center has added a second tree in memory of adults. The new tree is decorated with red cardinals for adults and white doves for those who have died by suicide.
Those who wish to remember a loved one can decorate the trees with their own ornament anytime the studio is open. Tags added to the ornament allow people to add messages or the names of whom the ornaments are in memory.
"This time of year, we often think of it as one of those great times of year when we have a lot of parties and celebrations and lights and decorations, but especially this year, we need to remember there are many who are dealing with a huge loss and grief."
The Center's mission is to help people to grieve and heal in positive ways. The Center focuses on being strong, sharing stories, sharing names and bringing people back to life in loved ones's hearts, Leiker said.
Because of high COVID numbers, the Center for Life Experience is conducting meetings for Healing After Loss of Suicide, Healing After Loss and Healing Hearts via Zoom.
Follow the Center's Facebook page for information on how to participate in the meetings. You can also learn more on the Center's website at www.cflehope.org or by calling 785-259-6859.