If you are a victim of domestic or sexual violence, find help here
By CRISTINA JANNEY
Hays Post
Options Domestic and Sexual Violence Services and Jana's Campaign hope to require education for bar owners on sexual violence after a recent survey found more than 40% of Ellis County survey respondents said they had sexual intercourse when they were too intoxicated to have consent.
Jana's Campaign and Options Domestic and Sexual Violence Services, both of which serve Ellis County, conducted a survey from October 2024 to January 2025. Representatives of both groups reported on the results during a public forum Thursday night at the Hays Public Library.
Of the respondents surveyed, 24.1% said they had sex one to two times when they were too intoxicated to consent. 7.7% said it had happened three to five times, 1.2% said it had happened six to 10 times and 7.7% said it had happened more than 10 times.
Of the respondents who said they had been sexually assaulted, 17% said they had been sexually assaulted when they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol and 33% said the perpetrator was under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
The survey respondents said the top community issue related to sexual violence in Ellis County is alcohol abuse, followed closely by drug abuse.
Based on these results, as well as interactions with clients, Options and Jana's campaign plan to lobby the local government to require Safe Bar and Bystander Intervention training as a stipulation for receiving a liquor license.
The training lasts about one hour and is conducted at no cost.
Jennifer Hecker, Options executive director, said a similar program, which required bar owners and managers to attend the training, has been successful in Lawrence.
Anniston Weber, Options victim advocate and campus outreach coordinator, said she thinks the problem, in part, has sprung from a drinking culture in Hays.
The two agencies are also hoping to expand Bystander Training programs beyond bars. This presentation gives participants tools to intervene in situations involving partner violence.
All Hays High School freshmen receive Bystander Intervention Training, and Blackburn hopes to extend the training to other schools and youth groups.
Blackburn said the training is not only helpful in dealing with partner violence, but can also be used in suicide, alcohol abuse, drug abuse and bullying prevention.
Sexual predators aren't strangers
Almost 80 percent of those surveyed said they had experienced some kind of sexual violence, although the survey was not a scientific sampling.
The vast majority of those people surveyed said they were assaulted by someone they knew.
In the other category, three respondents said they were assaulted by their mother's boyfriend.
On the top concerns list from the survey, child care options was listed at the fourth highest concern.
"Having access to affordable, sustainable child care is sexual violence prevention," Blackburn said. "It could be that the boyfriend has targeted mom because she has children, so when mom's away, he can take advantage of the situation."
The survey also showed high levels of emotional abuse and manipulation in relationships.
• 32.4% of respondents said their partner blamed relationship problems on them.
• 31.3% of respondents said their partner put them down in front of others.
• 20.5% of respondents said their partner controls who they talk to or spend time with.
• 16.5% of respondents said the person stole from them or stole property, as well as said things such as "no one will ever love you."
• 14.7% of respondents said their partner threatened to kill themselves if the relationship ended.
Stalking
Thirty-two percent of the survey respondents said someone who they did not want to be there had approached them or shown up in places such as their home, workplace or school.
About 52% of the respondents reported having received unwanted voice or social media messages.
"Something that I have learned over the last year is that stalking often gets pushed to the side," Blackburn said. "I've been learning more about how important it is to have the conversation about stalking."
Jana Lynne Mackey, who Jana's campaign was named for, was murdered in 2008 by an ex-boyfriend. Jana was stalked before she was murdered.
Stalking is a warning sign for murder in a domestic violence situation, Blackburn said.
Someone may move to another home in a case of relationship violence, but work in the same location, which can put them at risk for stalking or violence at work.
Blackburn said there is a connection between domestic violence and mass shootings. A shooter may kill a partner or family member and then turn violent against others.
Jana's campaign offers workplace training on responding to the needs of a domestic violence victim.
Relationship violence under reported
Of the respondents surveyed, less than 9% said they reported incidents of relationship violence to law enforcement.
Other coping mechanisms were as follows:
• 49% said they told a friend or family member
• 21% said they met with an advocate or counselor
• 20% used drugs or alcohol to cope
"Most victims are going to a best friend or family member. Options does a great job, but that's why the general public needs to be educated about these topics because [friends and family members] are where people are feeling most comfortable turning to," Larissa Whitney, Jana's Campaign education and prevention specialist, said.
Those friends and family members can direct victims to support such as Options.
Weber said, "People know we exist, but people come to us at their absolute worst when things have been blown out of proportion, when people can come to us when it's not at that point.
"A lot of people minimize the things they are going through, so they don't think they should talk to an advocate or be in contact with a therapist," she said.
Hecker said victims tell themselves things such as, "Someone else needs this help more than I do."
She said, based on the information from the survey, the community might benefit from Options shifting its messaging to friends and family instead of victims who may be too traumatized to reach out for help by themselves.
"You can help by taking your friend," she said.
Blackburn said Jana's campaign is seeing the question, 'How can I help a friend?" over and over on student surveys.
Upcoming events
If you would like to support Options, you can attend a bake sale to benefit the agency from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. today during the Hays Arts Council Art Walk at Eclectic Threads in Downtown Hays.
You are encouraged to wear denim on Wednesday. This is to show support for sexual assault survivors. The day sprang from a court case in Italy in which a judge ruled a woman was responsible for her sexual assault based on the tightness of her jeans.
The Rock Against Rape will be from 7 p.m. to midnight May 3 at the Fort Tavern in downtown Hays.
A Thomas County Community Forum will be from 5 to 6 p.m. June 10 in the multi-purpose room in the Union at Colby Community College.
A Russell Community Forum will be from 6 to 7 p.m. June 16 at the Dream Theatre in Russell.