If you have kids, you are well aware that it is spring break and that marks the end of another 9 weeks of school. Your students will be bringing home their report cards soon, and that reminds me of an article in the Working Mother magazine many years ago titled, “The Parent Report Card.” It seemed a bit awkward to ask my adolescent children at the time to grade me and their dad, on 25 different things but that is exactly what we did. Part of the value of the parent report card is that is brings out issues parents may not realize are important.
Things like “Understands my moods”, “Listens to my problems”, “Doesn’t scream at me when angry,” and “Treats all the kids in the family fairly” are graded A to F by each child in the family. I remember being surprised that my 10-year-old son gave me a C when it came to “Lets me make my own decisions.” I’m thinking to myself, “Adam, you’re only 10, so you don’t have the skills to make all of you own decisions.” Still, it reminded me of the important job we have as parents, to gradually let our children gain skills to make more of their own decisions.
It is a good idea to make several copies of the “Parent Report Card” and allow time for each child in the family to grade both mom and dad and also let the parents grade themselves. As parents take the quiz and grade themselves, they may see how the perceptions of one generation can differ from those of the other.
Dr. Linda Berg-Cross, author of “The Parent Report Card,” cites a single father who was surprised to find himself with a low mark in “Helps me get up when I oversleep.” “I always make sure she gets up,” he said. “I gave myself an A.” When he asked his daughter why she had given him a D, she answered, “Because you yell at me, and I hate waking up that way.” Her advice as to how he might improve: “Just talk to me nicely.”
If you would like a copy of the “Parent Report Card,” give me a call or send me an e-mail and I will be happy to share.
Donna Krug is the District Director and Family & Consumer Science Agent for K-State Research & Extension - Cottonwood Extension District. You may reach her at: (620)793-1910 or [email protected]