Today is Grandparents Day, a day that is celebrated in a variety of ways all across the nation.
One couple in northwest Kansas had plans to celebrate by hosting their granddaughter’s friends and listening to teenagers’ music Saturday evening, then attending church and eating breakfast together at a local cafe today.
Gary and Donna Haislip are two of more than 2 million grandparents in our country who are raising their grandchildren. Some of these families are called grand families.
This particular grand family was featured in the August issue of The Register, the newspaper of the Catholic Diocese of Salina that stretches all the way west from Manhattan to the Colorado border and north to the Nebraska border.
This is the story of Gary and Donna Haislip raising their granddaughter, and it’s a special one.
• • •
By DIANE GASPER-O’BRIEN
The Register, Diocese of Salina
Since the late 1970s, our nation has set aside a day to recognize and honor some special folks in our families – grandparents.
That day happens to be today.
But ask a certain teenager in Wallace County in northwest Kansas, and she will tell you that she honors her grandparents. Every. Single. Day.
Whether it’s the first Sunday of September after Labor Day (the official date for Grandparents Day) or a cold morning in December or a scorching hot afternoon in July, Jaelyn Dawn Ita is honoring Gary and Donna Haislip.
While Jaelym has called them Grandpa and Grandma her entire life, the Haislips are the only parents that Jaelyn has ever known.
Jaelyn was 19 months old when she was involved in a tragic vehicle accident in Nebraska that took the lives of both her parents, Thad and Tricia Ita, and her 15-year-old half-brother, Jacob Ita.
Another sibling in the vehicle, half-sister Marti Ita, recovered from her injuries and continued living with her biological mother.
Jaelyn was strapped securely in her car seat between her mother and Marti in the back seat of the vehicle.
Although the toddler received only a scratch in the accident, she was suddenly left without parents – but not without family.
Gary and Donna were in their late 50s and were enjoying their roles of doting grandparents when their lives changed in a split second on that afternoon in May back in 2009.
But there was never any doubt who would be raising Jaelyn.
Amidst the grief of dealing with the loss of their daughter, her husband and their grandson, the Haislips gathered with family on both sides and all agreed who should take Jaelyn home with them.
The Haislips picked up their granddaughter several days after funeral services for Jaelyn’s parents and took her to their ranch south of the small town of Wallace in northwest Kansas. It’s been home ever since.
“I didn’t know how I was going to do it when we brought her home,” Donna said. “Now, I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
The Haislips talked with Jaelyn about her parents from the time they took her into their home.
“We told her that her mommy and daddy had to go away,” Donna said, “that they lived in heaven with God and that we would see them again someday.”
Donna said having Jaelyn with them helped with their losses.
“We had something to hold onto yet,” Donna said. “She’s a spitting image of her mother, and she acts like her, thinks like her.”
Raising Jaelyn Catholic
Raising another child came naturally for the Haislips, who had raised two children of their own. That they would fully involve her in the Catholic faith was just as certain.
“My grandparents have always made sure that I attended Sunday Mass and Holy Days of Obligation growing up,” said Jaelyn, who said it was a special time for her and her family this past spring when she received the sacrament of Confirmation.
She learned how to help with chores around the ranch and is heavily involved in her school, participating in sports, service and academic organizations. She maintains a 4.0 grade point average.
“She’s kind of an old soul, really well-rounded,” Donna said. “We’ve been exceptionally blessed. She’s very self-disciplined. We have never had to tell her to do her homework.”
Jaelyn also is an altar server at her church – Holy Ghost Catholic Church in Sharon Springs. And one of her favorite organizations is Fellowship of Christian Athletes.
“With FCA, we learn a lot of how to promote Christianity in our school,” she said. “We say an ‘Our Father’ before every game.”
She also helps coach youth sports and works a variety of part-time jobs, including as a Certified Nursing Aid at the Hope Springs nursing care facility in Sharon Springs.
Balancing work and play is something Jaelyn learned from little on.
“Oh, they didn’t go overboard (as grandparents),” Jaelyn said. “It wasn’t like I got milk and cookies and got babied.”
The Haislips are quick to say that “it takes a village to raise a child.”
“It’s a small town. There is plenty of help. Her friends’ parents have always been good about taking her to things, too,” Donna said. “She’s not sitting at home with two old people by any means.”
They all smile as Donna said “two old people.” The Haislips, now in their 70s, admit that keeping up with a busy teenager has actually kept them young.
Jaelyn doesn’t think of them as anything but her parents, no matter their age.
“I was so young, and it felt like they were my Mom and Dad,” Jaelyn said. “It always has.”
What about when friends’ parents – much younger than hers – show up for school activities?
“It’s all I’ve ever known, so I didn’t think anything of it,” Jaelyn said. “Most kids would say they wish they could have their grandparents around all the time.”
Having Gary and Donna around all the time became old hat to Jaelyn and her friends from early on. Part of raising their granddaughter, they thought, was attending all her activities.
“They are probably at more events than some parents are,” Jaelyn said.
In addition to a large friend base, Jaelyn remains close to her half-sister Marti, as they share a bond unlike any other.
For the past few years, Jaelyn and Marti have spent a week each summer together on sightseeing trips in Colorado or Oregon.
It’s obvious the Haislips also hold a special place in their hearts for Marti, who lives in Colorado and works with children with behavioral problems and anxiety – something which Marti suffered after the vehicle accident.
“Listening to Marti talk about her job is heartwarming,” Donna said. “She cares for the children so much.”
A grand life
Even while the Haislips have taken on the role of parents for Jaelyn, one can still hear the pride of grandparents while listening to them talk about their granddaughter.
Grandpa Gary’s eyes sparkle while telling how Jaelyn – a junior at Wallace County High School in Sharon Springs – lettered in four sports her sophomore year: volleyball, basketball, track and golf.
He got emotional while talking about how his granddaughter is always willing to help classmates with their schoolwork.
“She doesn’t even know she’s that good,” he said. “She makes our job pretty darned easy.”
Like any teenager, Jaelyn rolled her eyes at all the compliments.
Grandpa and Grandma admit there are a few times when she acts like a normal teenager and that it’s hard to tell her “No.”
“We have to be on our toes, that’s for sure,” Donna said.
The Haislips wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Sometimes she says, ‘I think you love me too much,’ ” Donna said. “I guess we are kind of doting.”
A website featuring the national holiday of Grandparents Day says that “the day is a time for grandparents to be celebrated and for them to pass down history and wisdom to younger generations.”
Grandparents Day is so highly thought of that it even has an official flower, the forget-me-not. It also has an official song, “A Song for Grandma and Grandpa.”
Rest assured, Jaelyn will never forget what her grandpa and grandma did, have done, are still doing and will continue to do for her.