A well known Kansas Highway Patrol Trooper used social media to announce his retirement Monday evening.
KHP Trooper Ben Gardner wrote he was deeply fatigued after 26-years with the Patrol. The news comes after the Patrol earlier this month was forced to issue a statement involving confusion over a personal social media post by Gardner. The KHP wrote, "The KHP is aware of a social media post by an employee who appears to be either soliciting or accepting donations in furtherance of personal travel."
On his private social media page September 1, Gardner wrote that he was driving his Jeep back and forth to Michigan and using a lot of gas. He wrote, "folks had already reached out, so he shared ways that others could help."
Not everyone believed the post was actually from beloved Trooper Ben.
The Kansas Highway Patrol responded, "Because the employee's private posts are often difficult to distinguish from their professional posts, the messages can be confusing and are neither approved by nor associated with KHP business."
On Monday night, Gardner wrote about his retirement.
"Of all the posts I’ve ever made, this one may be the most important. A significant shift from what life has been…"
"This evening, I sat at my laptop and typed the words that made it real. I sent the email. My official notice of retirement.For years, I’ve struggled with this decision. Do I hold on longer, or do I take the step forward?
"So many of us wait.Wait until 5 PM.Wait for Friday.Wait for summer.Wait for adulthood. Wait for happiness.Always waiting for the right moment. But in the waiting, we miss living in the now."
"After over 26 years of service, I am fatigued. Deeply fatigued…That fatigue does not come from the people of Kansas or the countless lives I’ve had the honor of serving."
"Being a servant has been one of the greatest joys of my life.The strain has come from within. From the inner spaces I’ve devoted myself to. Spaces I have deeply loved, but also where I have faced some of my greatest challenges.Through my entire career, I’ve always tried to make decisions that were about purpose, not paycheck. I never sought promotion. I rarely looked for overtime."
"The choices I made were always about moments where I could make a meaningful impact with the people around me. To break the mold a little.To blaze a trail.To show what I believe the service of this position was always meant to be.To leave the space I held better than when I received it.I have full faith that I have done just that.It seems that so many individuals in this profession exit long before they ever make it to retirement."
And standing here now, I can understand why. It has been such an honor to serve as I have over these last 26 years. Pride, laughter, fear, embarrassment, and deep sadness have all been part of my journey."
"After traveling to Michigan for my dad’s graveside ceremony, I found some clarity."
"Being there reminded me that the time we have is so, so valuable.This will work out. It might be bumpy for a little bit, but eventually we grow past the tightness, the worry, and the fatigue of trying to fit in."
"It’s my belief, two weeks is what I have left of this career. It’s hard. It’s emotional. But it’s time."
"The past will always be part of me, but the future is calling. And I’m choosing to live it now.When the time is right, I want to be more transparent. To share more openly about what I have experienced throughout my career, and especially over these last five years leading up to retirement. In that moment, you will see my heart more clearly than ever before."
"What I haven’t shared over the last five years… I will.To those who have openly supported me, cheered for me, and defended me when I wasn’t around, thank you. You have carried me further than you know."